He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
