fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
