last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize