WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
