have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Randomize
