Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
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