My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
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I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
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I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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