So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
