At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
