Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize