All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
The convent might be a nice break from real life
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
