so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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