I wish i was in the wii world.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
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