That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize