Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
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