we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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