grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
