Im at strip club and am horny
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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