I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
