I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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