sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
