just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
