Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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