You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
