I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Randomize
