Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
