so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
