You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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