Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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