Nicole vs. Life
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
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