I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
