You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
