no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
