? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I have aggressive nipples.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
