she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
