You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
