Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
