Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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