It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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