Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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