I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Randomize
