just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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