She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
