Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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