Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
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