This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Tornado booty call.. dedication
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
