YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
