Christians are straight up FREAKS
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize