My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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