May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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