Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
