He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
