this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize