You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
