babies were throwing up all over the place
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I am full of burrito and curiosity
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
