Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
