love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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