doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
