You're so nebulous sometimes
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
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