One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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