I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
