right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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