just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
