is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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