do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just pee around me
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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