we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
